<div>Hi, <br>the manual is starting to look great, thanks for the proofreading!<br><br>I
went over the latest draft again, and noted changes below. Please let
me know if there are any issues with these, otherwise I would like to
add them to the last copy (Werner/Bernard: where can I access latest working
copy to make changes?).
<br><br>thanks!<br>Brigitte<br><br><br><br>p.3<br>now reads: "The statements on the next page are not anymore correct. Due to a
<br>wrong application of the terms of the GFDL, it is legally not possible<br>to fix them. Please add new copyright notices only here."<br><br>I do not remember coming across this in the german copy, but it needs to be changed.
<br><br>Should be:<br><br>The statements on the next page are no longer correct, but cannot<br>legally be changed due to problems with the application of GFDL terms. New<br>copyright notices should only be added here.<br>
<br>p.6
"'Gpg4win for Novices"' is a quick guide to installing and everyday
use...." - grammatically incorrect, should read "...is a quick guide
to the installation and everyday use ...." <br><br>p.6 "half an hour to work through this manual" (not: half and hour)<br><br>p.10 "roll OR move the mouse" NOT 'hover the mouse' (hover refers to flying objects, like birds or helicopters)
<br><br>p.14 "During the installation, a progress bar will be displayed, as well<br>as showing the file currently be-<br>ing installed." This sentence is grammatically incorrect, because when<br>you use 'as well as' as part of a list, the verbs need to be in the same
<br>tense.<br><br>better: "During the installation process a progress bar displays the files being<br>installed."<br><br>p. 17 "You have now installed Gpg4win and can use the program" should
<br>read: "You have now installed Gpg4win and are ready to use the program".<br>Not a major issue, I just think this reads easier because the first<br>sentence feels like it is missing the 'you' before the 'can use'.
<br><br>"Of course you do not need to know the insides of Gpg4win to be able to<br>use it. However, you will use Gpg4win to handle your most sensitive correspondence and it seems a good<br>idea to understand the theory behind it."
<br><br>I would not use the word 'insides' - it is commonly used in association
with internal organs only. Please replace with "all the intricacies"
OR "all the technical details"<br><br>"Of course you do not need to know all the intricacies (OR technical details) of Gpg4win to be able to<br>use it. However, SINCE Gpg4win will be used to handle your most sensitive correspondence, it IS PROBABLY a good
<br>idea to understand the theory behind it."<br><br>p.18<br>now reads: "After reading the information explaining the security features of Gpg4win, as well as creating good<br>passphrase
to protect your private key, this section shows you how to create a key
pair." Grammatically incorrect, should read: After reading the
information explaining Gpg4win's security features and the
creation of a good passphrase to protect your private key,....."
<br><br>p.18<br>"The processes of creating a key, encryption and decryption are very important; it is a good idea<br>to practice these steps until you are very comfortable with the procedures. . . ."<br><br>Nothing wrong with this sentence, except the dots after the sentence, which should be removed?
<br><br>p.21<br>"Again, if this is a test run, you can use an imaginary
emailaddress such...." nothing wrong, except there needs to be a
space between email and address; same with the sentence "Or you can
enter your real emailaddress...." below the screen shot on the same
page.
<br><br>p.22<br>now reads: "So, at this point you should have thought your<br>own passphrase - one that is private, easy to remember, and...."<br><br>This
sentence is grammatically incorrect, it should read either "At this
point you should have thought OF your own passphrase ....." or : "At this point you should have come up with your own
passphrase....."
<br><br>p.22<br>now reads: "If the passphrase you entered is not very secure, the program will warn you about it, allowing you to<br>enter
a more secure passphrase." Awkward structure. Should read "....is
not very secure, a warning will be displayed, allowing ....."
<br><br>p.25<br>now reads: "Depending on the number of communication
partners, can do this in two ways:... better:
"Depending on the number of CORRESPONDENCE partners, YOU can ...." The word 'communication partners' is not technically wrong, but not widely used.<br>
<br>p.25<br>now reads: "emailaddress available", same problem as above, needs space between email and address.<br><br>p.26<br>now
reads: "good emailrobot for practicing...." - not sure about this one
- i checked on the Net, and saw the word emailrobot used in connection
with specific program names (ex. Emailrobot 2000); the expression
'email robot' was used in a more general nature, ie. not in reference
to a specific program. You may want to check into this as there may be
trademark issues in using Emailrobot as one word? <br><br>p.29<br>now reads: "Before doing this, your should configure your email program to<br>send messages in text-only format rather than HTML." Typing error - should read "Before doing this, YOU should configure...."
<br><br>p.30<br>now reads: "Ä The "'Copy & Paste"'-method shown
in this....", delete the '-' before 'method, i.e. "The "Copy &
Paste" method ...."<br><br>
p.31<br>
now reads: "Now anyone can<br>download
your key, and use it to send you secure email." Is missing 'a' before
'secure email'. ("....and use it to send you A secure email.")<br><br>p.31
<br>
now reads: "If this is a practice run, do NOT send your practice key to the key server because, once send, it cannot<br>be
removed." Grammar error, wrong tense, should read: "....send your practice key to
the key server because once it is sent (or: once sent), it cannot be
removed."
<br><br>p.33<br>now reads: "(Please note that the encryption sequence
has been considerably shortened to save space in this manual.)"
Awkward wording, does not sound very professional. Better : "Please note that the encryption sequence has been
shortened considerably for demonstration purposes". <br><br><br>p.34<br>now reads: "WinPT (Windows Privacy Tray key management tool) serves as PnuPG's "'front end"'. This program<br>is used to encrypt and decrypt emails; it also creates and verifies digital signatures. One...."
<br><br>small error - delete the ' in front of the word 'front'<br><br>same problem with this sentence: "manual "'Gpg4win for Advanced Users"' provides...", has the ' in the wrong place
<br><br>I noticed this in other spots too - might want to do a search on these.<br><br>p.39 <br>now reads: "It does not matter whether you save the key as text or directly as an emailattachment, as both methods<br>
import the key into your GnuPG-"'Key Ring"'. <br><br>Error: Put space between 'email' and 'attachment'.<br><br>p.41<br>now reads: "....verification process is fairly simple. To do it, you ...."
<br><br>grammatical error; should read: "...simple. To do this, you...." or : "simple. For this, you...."<br><br>p.43<br>now reads: "Open your emailprogram and write...." <br><br>I
think there should be a space between email and program, as this is the
more commonly used way of writing. I also came across some programs
called 'emailprogram' on the Web, so there may also be a trademark
concern. However, I just want to point this out, I am not entirely
sure which one is better suited - maybe someone can comment on this
one.
<br><br>p.43<br>now reads: "Open your emailprogram and write a message (if you are sending the message to Adele, any text will<br>do). . ."<br><br>Delete . . . after the sentence, it is not necessary.<br><br>p.44
<br>now reads: "You should now see a window containing the keys on your key ring. Using the examples featured in<br>this guide, you would see Adele's key (the one she sent to you), as well as your own key, which you
<br>
created in Chapter 2."<br><br>This manual does not contain a
Chapter 2 (unless we are talking about the Advanced user manual?) - it
would be better to refer to the actual page number, in this case 19. Unless I missed something.<br><br>Therefore: "you should now see a window.....created using the method outlined on page 19 of this manual."
<br><br>p.46<br>now reads: "Therefore it is sensible to store encrypted copies of the<br>emails."
Improper word usage - should read: "Therefore we advise/suggest that you
store..." OR "Therefore it is advised/suggested that you store....."
<br><br>p.47<br>now reads: "This opens the GnuPG Preferences Window.
You can add your key in the "Encrypt to this key" field using your
emailaddress.<br>email programs which directly support GnuPG will also feature this option."
<br><br>Put in space between email and address (see previous notes).
Also, the word "email" at the beginning of the next sentence needs to
be capitalized (ie. "Email programs which directly support...).<br>
<br>p.48<br>now reads: "Furthermore, Chapters 13 and 14 of the manual "'Gpg4win for Advanced Users"' give you<br>additional information about the ideas behind GnuPG's security features, as well as detailed
<br>
insights into the mathematical concepts used. These chapters are easy to read, they were written<br>for the every day user, not mathematicians and cryptographers."<br><br>should
read: "Furthermore, Chapters 13 and 14 of the manual "'Gpg4win for
Advanced Users"' PROVIDE YOU WITH additional information about the
THEORY behind GnuPG's security features, as well as detailed insights
into the mathematical concepts used. These chapters are easy to read,
AS they were written for the every day user, not mathematicians and
cryptographers."
<br><br>P.49<br>now reads: "GPGol, a Microsoft Outlook plugin, integrates the operation of GnuPG. Here are some tips about the<br>operation
of this plugin.While it is fairly easy to operate the plugin in other
email programs, technical difficulties associated
<br>with its integration of OpenPGP into Outlook make it harder to operate in this context."<br><br>a)
replace 'tips' with 'suggestions' - the latter is more commonly used in
English ('tips' is usually associated with gratuities).
<br>b) grammatical errors "technical difficulties associated with its integration of Open...."<br><br>should read:<br>"GPGol, a Microsoft Outlook plugin, integrates the operation of GnuPG. Here are some suggestions for the operation of this
plugin.While it is fairly easy to operate the plugin
in other email programs, the technical difficulties associated<br>
with the integration of OpenPGP into Outlook make it harder to operate in this context."<br><br>p.50<br>now reads:<br>"The first two options of this tab allow you to set default settings to do with encrypting and signing
<br>new messages."<br><br>Awkward sentence structure, should read: "The first .....default settings for encrypting...."<br> <br>p.51<br>now reads: "However, given<br>Outlook's complex technical environment, this is not an easy issue to solve."
<br><br>should read "resolve" instead of "solve".<br><br>p.52<br>now reads: "This section explains how to migrate from out GnuPG-based programs to Gpg4win."<br><br>This
sentence does not make any sense at all (ie. 'from out'?), so I am not
even sure how to correct it. I originally said "explains how to
transfer to Gpg4win from other GnuPG-based programs..." I still like
that one, but am open to suggestions.
<br><br>p.52<br>now reads: "before installation Gpg4win." Should read: "before the installation of Gpg4win."<br><br>p.52<br>now reads: "If yes, Gpg4win was able to detect the previous key storage and you need take
<br>no further action." not a major issues, better: "...key storage and no further action is required."<br><br><br><br>
</div>