[Gpg4win-devel] Minor Edits to Manual

[Brigitte H]

Hi,
the manual is starting to look great, thanks for the proofreading!

I went over the latest draft again, and noted changes below.  Please let me
know if there are any issues with these, otherwise I would like to add them
to the last copy (Werner/Bernard: where can I access latest working copy to
make changes?).

thanks!
Brigitte



p.3
now reads: "The statements on the next page are not anymore correct. Due to
a
wrong application of the terms of the GFDL, it is legally not possible
to fix them. Please add new copyright notices only here."

I do not remember coming across this in the german copy, but it needs to be
changed.

Should be:

The statements on the next page are no longer correct, but cannot
legally be changed due to problems with the application of GFDL terms.  New
copyright notices should only be added here.

p.6 "'Gpg4win for Novices"' is a quick guide to installing and everyday
use...."  - grammatically incorrect, should read "...is a quick guide to the
installation and everyday use ...."

p.6  "half an hour to work through this manual" (not: half and hour)

p.10 "roll OR move the mouse"  NOT 'hover the mouse' (hover refers to flying
objects, like birds or helicopters)

p.14 "During the installation, a progress bar will be displayed, as well
as showing the file currently be-
ing installed."  This sentence is grammatically incorrect, because when
you use 'as well as' as part of a list, the verbs need to be in the same
tense.

better:  "During the installation process a progress bar displays the files
being
installed."

p. 17 "You have now installed Gpg4win and can use the program"  should
read: "You have now installed Gpg4win and are ready to use the program".
Not a major issue, I just think this reads easier because the first
sentence feels like it is missing the 'you' before the 'can use'.

"Of course you do not need to know the insides of Gpg4win to be able to
use it. However, you will use Gpg4win to handle your most sensitive
correspondence and it seems a good
idea to understand the theory behind it."

I would not use the word 'insides' - it is commonly used in association with
internal organs only.  Please replace with "all the intricacies" OR "all the
technical details"

"Of course you do not need to know all the intricacies (OR technical
details) of Gpg4win to be able to
use it. However, SINCE Gpg4win will be used to handle your most sensitive
correspondence, it IS PROBABLY a good
idea to understand the theory behind it."

p.18
now reads: "After reading the information explaining the security features
of Gpg4win, as well as creating good
passphrase to protect your private key, this section shows you how to create
a key pair."    Grammatically incorrect, should read: After reading the
information explaining Gpg4win's security features and the creation of a
good passphrase to protect your private key,....."

p.18
"The processes of creating a key, encryption and decryption are very
important; it is a good idea
to practice these steps until you are very comfortable with the procedures.
. . ."

Nothing wrong with this sentence, except the dots after the sentence, which
should be removed?

p.21
"Again, if this is a test run, you can use an imaginary emailaddress
such...."   nothing wrong, except there needs to be a space between email
and address; same with the sentence  "Or you can enter your real
emailaddress...."   below the screen shot on the same page.

p.22
now reads: "So, at this point you should have thought your
own passphrase - one that is private, easy to remember, and...."

This sentence is grammatically incorrect, it should read either "At this
point you should have thought OF your own passphrase ....."  or :  "At this
point you should have come up with your own passphrase....."

p.22
now reads: "If the passphrase you entered is not very secure, the program
will warn you about it, allowing you to
enter a more secure passphrase."   Awkward structure.  Should read "....is
not very secure, a warning will be displayed, allowing ....."

p.25
now reads: "Depending on the number of communication partners, can do this
in two ways:...  better: "Depending on the number of CORRESPONDENCE
partners, YOU can ...."    The word 'communication partners' is not
technically wrong, but not widely used.

p.25
now reads: "emailaddress available", same problem as above, needs space
between email and address.

p.26
now reads: "good emailrobot for practicing...."  - not sure about this one -
i checked on the Net, and saw the word emailrobot used in connection with
specific program names (ex. Emailrobot 2000);  the expression 'email robot'
was used in a more general nature, ie. not in reference to a specific
program.  You may want to check into this as there may be trademark issues
in using Emailrobot as one word?

p.29
now reads: "Before doing this, your should configure your email program to
send messages in text-only format rather than HTML."  Typing error - should
read "Before doing this, YOU should configure...."

p.30
now reads: "Ä The "'Copy & Paste"'-method shown in this....", delete the '-'
before 'method, i.e. "The "Copy & Paste" method ...."

p.31
now reads: "Now anyone can
download your key, and use it to send you secure email."  Is missing 'a'
before 'secure email'. ("....and use it to send you A secure email.")

p.31
now reads: "If this is a practice run, do NOT send your practice key to the
key server because, once send, it cannot
be removed."  Grammar error, wrong tense, should read: "....send your
practice key to the key server because once it is sent (or: once sent), it
cannot be removed."

p.33
now reads: "(Please note that the encryption sequence has been considerably
shortened to save space in this manual.)"  Awkward wording, does not sound
very professional.  Better : "Please note that the encryption sequence has
been shortened considerably for demonstration purposes".


p.34
now reads: "WinPT (Windows Privacy Tray key management tool) serves as
PnuPG's "'front end"'. This program
is used to encrypt and decrypt emails; it also creates and verifies digital
signatures. One...."

small error - delete the ' in front of the word 'front'

same problem with this sentence: "manual "'Gpg4win for Advanced Users"'
provides...", has the ' in the wrong place

I noticed this in other spots too - might want to do a search on these.

p.39
now reads: "It does not matter whether you save the key as text or directly
as an emailattachment, as both methods
import the key into your GnuPG-"'Key Ring"'.

Error: Put space between 'email' and 'attachment'.

p.41
now reads: "....verification process is fairly simple. To do it, you ...."

grammatical error; should read: "...simple.  To do this, you...."   or :
"simple. For this, you...."

p.43
now reads: "Open your emailprogram and write...."

I think there should be a space between email and program, as this is the
more commonly used way of writing.  I also came across some programs called
'emailprogram' on the Web, so there may also be a trademark concern.
However, I just want to point this out, I am not entirely sure which one is
better suited - maybe someone can comment on this one.

p.43
now reads: "Open your emailprogram and write a message (if you are sending
the message to Adele, any text will
do). . ."

Delete . . . after the sentence, it is not necessary.

p.44
now reads: "You should now see a window containing the keys on your key
ring. Using the examples featured in
this guide, you would see Adele's key (the one she sent to you), as well as
your own key, which you
created in Chapter 2."

This manual does not contain a Chapter 2 (unless we are talking about the
Advanced user manual?) - it would be better to refer to the actual page
number, in this case 19.  Unless I missed something.

Therefore: "you should now see a window.....created using the method
outlined on page 19 of this manual."

p.46
now reads: "Therefore it is sensible to store encrypted copies of the
emails."   Improper word usage -  should read: "Therefore we advise/suggest
that you store..." OR "Therefore it is advised/suggested that  you
store....."

p.47
now reads: "This opens the GnuPG Preferences Window. You can add your key in
the "Encrypt to this key" field using your emailaddress.
email programs which directly support GnuPG will also feature this option."

Put in space between email and address (see previous notes).   Also, the
word "email" at the beginning of the next sentence needs to be capitalized
(ie. "Email programs which directly support...).

p.48
now reads: "Furthermore, Chapters 13 and 14 of the manual "'Gpg4win for
Advanced Users"' give you
additional information about the ideas behind GnuPG's security features, as
well as detailed
insights into the mathematical concepts used. These chapters are easy to
read, they were written
for the every day user, not mathematicians and cryptographers."

should read: "Furthermore, Chapters 13 and 14 of the manual "'Gpg4win for
Advanced Users"' PROVIDE YOU WITH additional information about the THEORY
behind GnuPG's security features, as well as detailed insights into the
mathematical concepts used. These chapters are easy to read, AS they were
written for the every day user, not mathematicians and cryptographers."

P.49
now reads: "GPGol, a Microsoft Outlook plugin, integrates the operation of
GnuPG. Here are some tips about the
operation of this plugin.While it is fairly easy to operate the plugin in
other email programs, technical difficulties associated
with its integration of OpenPGP into Outlook make it harder to operate in
this context."

a) replace 'tips' with 'suggestions' - the latter is more commonly used in
English ('tips' is usually associated with gratuities).
b)  grammatical errors  "technical difficulties associated with its
integration of Open...."

should read:
"GPGol, a Microsoft Outlook plugin, integrates the operation of GnuPG. Here
are some suggestions for the  operation of this plugin.While it is fairly
easy to operate the plugin in other email programs, the technical
difficulties associated
with the integration of OpenPGP into Outlook make it harder to operate in
this context."

p.50
now reads:
"The first two options of this tab allow you to set default settings to do
with encrypting and signing
new messages."

Awkward sentence structure, should read: "The first .....default settings
for encrypting...."

p.51
now reads: "However, given
Outlook's complex technical environment, this is not an easy issue to
solve."

should read "resolve" instead of "solve".

p.52
now reads: "This section explains how to migrate from out GnuPG-based
programs to Gpg4win."

This sentence does not make any sense at all (ie. 'from out'?), so I am not
even sure how to correct it.  I originally said "explains how to transfer to
Gpg4win from other GnuPG-based programs..."  I still like that one, but am
open to suggestions.

p.52
now reads: "before installation Gpg4win."  Should read: "before the
installation of Gpg4win."

p.52
now reads: "If yes, Gpg4win was able to detect the previous key storage and
you need take
no further action."  not a major issues, better:  "...key storage and no
further action is required."
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